Ridiculously Long Baseball Games Are My Favorite Thing In All Of Sports

 

 

Last night while everybody was pissing and moaning about the Sox game being too long, I was the most content sports fan on planet earth. I couldn’t have been happier because, above all else, I root for long baseball games. Not wins, not losses, not remarkable feats of athleticism that result in amazing catches or towering home runs, I root for long baseball games. I think that goes back to my childhood where my dad would let me play hooky from school if we got home from a game after midnight, so I’d be in the crowd rooting like hell for extras. That’s still stuck with me.

 

Baseball is just better after the 15th inning and that’s a fact. It’s gotta be at least 15, that’s when it gets really good. 10 or 11 innings don’t even really count as extras, 12 to 14 innings just feels like a waste of time, but after 15 everything gets hilarious. You know how your mom used to say that nothing good happens after midnight? Well she was wrong about life in general and she was very wrong about baseball. After the 15th you get so drunk on baseball that everything becomes awesome and hilarious. Carson Smith, a player we weren’t even sure still existed, came in and got Josh Donaldson ejected in a single pitch. That’s efficiency! John Farrell making pitching changes with two outs and no runners on? Funny. Fernando Abad’s 60 MPH changeup? Funny. Dave O’Brien legitimately begging for someone to bring him a slice of pizza and doing so over like three innings? Hysterical.

 

On top of all the weird stuff that happens, the cliches are also the best. At one point Dave O’Brien explained time zones, alerting us to the fact that Sox fans in Arizona aren’t staying up as late to watch the game because it’s a different time on the west coast. We got the shots of the clock in centerfield striking midnight, the explanations that games that started later were somehow ending before ours, and the “Man, it feels like that last run scored was yesterday!” comments. All of it is solid gold after 15 innings.

 

So yeah, I’m a long baseball game fan and I won’t apologize for it. I hope every game goes 20 the rest of the season, which was the only bad part about last night, that it ended in the 19th. Long baseball games are dumb fun and if you disagree then I don’t want to be friends with you.

 

PS – This only applied to being at home and watching on the couch, if you stay past like the 13th for a regular season game then you’re kinda nuts. You start getting hungover at that point, just go watch the rest at Landsdowne.

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