Shoutout To The Marriott For Providing Free Coffee And Mini-Muffins For 9/11


What a gesture of goodwill. Just incredible to see the hospitality industry up their already high standards for free breakfasts.

Imagine walking to the elevator and looking at your smart watch. You notice that it’s 9/11 and immediately remember where you were on that day. You get sad and pick up the phone to call, actually call…not text but call… a family member.

It rings.

It rings.

It rings.

“Hey, Carl. Just got a phone call from you. Everything ok” the text message reads as soon as you hang up. It’s almost like Susan started texting you before the phone was even finished ringing. Why wouldn’t Susan just pick up? Additionally, why do we still call it “ringing”? It’s not like there’s bells in the phone or some shit. Also, you don’t physically hang anything up either. You suddenly realize that the terminology of phone usage really needs to update its lexicon. Extremely outdated but that’s neither here nor there.

You reply back. “Oh yeah. I was just gonna call you about 9/11. It’s not urgent. Just thinking about you guys; that’s all.”

“Oh. Ok, Carl. Thanks for calling. It was great hearing from you. I hope your day is as good as it can be.”

“Thanks, Susan. Tell the kids their uncle says hello.”

Damn. They used to be so close and now the pleasantries even seem so forced. Sad.

Anyway, you round the corner thinking about your family, friends, and 9/11. Money is tight and you really hate staying at hotels because the price of mini muffins and coffee has just gotten to be fucking outrageous.

But there it is. This really is too good to be true.

You were reaching for your wallet to pay for the mini muffins and coffee but the sign says that they are free due to the largest tragedy on American soil in the country’s history. What an incredible day.

Fuck: You notice they only have blueberry mini muffins and not chocolate chip: Fuck.

You get to the front of the line and smile at the wait staff. “Never forget,” you say to her as you go to your seat.

“Sir. Sir! Our free promotional mini muffins and coffee ended at 9:15. It’s 9:22. That’ll be 13 dollars for the coffee and the mini muffins.”

Shit. You would have normally gotten just three but since they were free you got eight fucking mini muffins. You can’t put them back. You’ll look like you were taking advantage of a tragic day and good gesture from Marriott. And the hits just keep on coming.

Edit: Lots of people are saying that this is an old picture that got recirculated. I’m saying that I dont give a shit about that. Ibid, your honor.

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