RG3 Is Now Playing Old Man Hoops With Dumpy White Guys At The Local YMCA And I’m Sad

 

Guys, I’m sad. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. RG3 was the chosen one. He was the future of the Redskins. 4.3 speed. Cannon of an arm that could throw it over the mountains. The ability to do a quick read in the option. He had it all. And then his knee shredded into a million little pieces, and then again, and then everything else on him broke, and now he’s playing pickup basketball at the YMCA with old people. He’s quite literally the former D1 athlete who takes pickup ball too seriously at the local gym playing with guys who just want a few minutes away from their wife and kids. RG3 has someone (probably lovely Greta) filming his games. I’m so sad about all of this. RG3 should be on a football field. He should be shredding up NFL defenses, not 55 year old Marc from Accounting. Like, come on. This guy looks like Colin Mochrie

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I was waiting for Big Cat, Smitty, and the rest of our 0-11 men’s league team to check into the game, that’s how white and sad this game is.

So yeah. All in all, a rather unfortunate last couple of years for my guy Robert. The good news is, when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up. We all saw QB play week 1 in the NFL. Enough is enough. Time to give RG3 a call. I just can’t have him playing hoops with guys double his age. I just can’t.

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