MMBM: Funny How People Are Mad At Mike Pence For Interrupting The Colts Game, But Silent When Obama Upstaged WWE Extreme Rules PPV By Killing Osama Bin Laden
Wellcome to the Monday Morning BM, just a word of warning your probably not prepared to handle the strong football takes and barrelfire NFL truths that you never knew your Mondays were missing. This column is written for and by a REAL fan of the NFL. Its designed to be read on your Monday Morning commode break after a long Sunday eating bad-for-you food and drinking beers. If you care more about SPELLING then you do about TELLING theres the door because this columns not for you.
Well Season Two of Playmaker’s is awesome. The storylines were crazy in year one but theyve realy kicked it up a notch by bringing the Vice Presdent into the fold and having a Miami O-Line Coach basicaly sending out a hostage video of his own career all in the same day. You toss in some devestating injury news to two of the top 5 player’s in the NFL and you have my attention again, NFL. The only way this weeked could of gotten any crazier is if Tebow had run out onto the field and healed Mr. Boatman Odell Beckham’s ankle, from one guy who likes to walk on water to another. Were going to get to the coke, and all that later but first I’d like to way in on the Vice Presidents walk-out because I had a couple of issues with it.
As I’m sure you’ve heard, Vice Presdent Pence made the trip to Indy to be witness to the Colts putting Peyton Manning in the ring of honor, but left before the game started as several players from the 49ers took a knee during the natonal anthem. This angered Pence to the point where he decided I guess hed rather go watch the Colts secondary stifle Bryan Hoyer from the comfort’s of his own home, since just like Jesus hes not aloud to be around Hookers on sundays. The fact that he left before the game even started caused many to wonder if the Vice President is a bad sports town but to his credit he couldnt of know the 49ers would particpate in a protest. People are critizing the VP for preplanning his stunt but you allways gotta script out the first couple plays on the road.
The funniest part is hypocrisy in this situation. So funny how libs cry foul for VP Pence overshadowing Peytons last day as a Colt but are silent when Obama upstaged Extreme Rules Pay Per View by announcing that Navy SEALs had killed Osama Bin Laden.
Obama brought poltics into sports on a much grander scale then Vice President Pence ever did when he pulled that little stunt designed to divide us during one of our nations most sacred evenings of sports and entertainment. All we wanted to do on that fateful 2011 evening was watch people in there underwear pretend to hurt each other, when all of a sudden John Cena had to come out and break the news to all the little kids in America that there President was a murderer:
But by all mean’s lets keep harping on the fact that Pence showed up for the national anthem and left. The way the Colts and 49ers are playing they shouldnt be aloud to listen to the national anthem until they get above .500 anyways. The United States hasnt lost a war since we stopped declaring them wars and we cant afford to allow loosers to listen to our big song, it cheapens it for the rest of us.
The only part that bothers me is that a adminstration who has been so pro-law enforcement chose to walk out before the Sherriff was honored at halftime. Peter King, with his finger on the pulse of Amerca as allways saw the real travesty in this was the VP upstaging Peyton on his very important afternoon. But some things are bigger then taking sides in a performative display of affection for our leaders, and observing the national anthem is one of them.
On to the awards:
Road Grader of the Week: Christopher Foerster
Ok so first things first you shouldnt do drugs unless your not going to get caught. That said, I wouldnt be the least be suprised to see Foerster get a sniff at a backup QB position for the Titans or Ravens. He’s got all the intangbles that you want from a guy at that position and the league is truly suffering from a lack of leadership at the position. Guy would have his eyes darting all over the place just absolultely manipulating the heck out of opposing safeties. You want your backup QB to be a student who dosen’t stand out- literaly a narrow pupil. Plus you can call into queston his decision making and fidelity but cocaine keeps you so focus its impossible to become a distraction.
Now while Ive heard alot of hot talk about Foerster being I guess the devil incarnate, I think we also need to look at maybe some bad influences around him. Was Coach Foerster influenced by Laremy Tunsills gas mask bong video or was he merely trying to relate to him the way any good coach might? At least with Foerster it wasnt a performence enhancing drug like marijuana but a recreational one used by doctors for centurys. What better way to get a guy to run face first through a wall then to let him see you going nose first through a brick. Blow man wins in the trenches, you talk about a guy taking repsonsibility for all facets of the game showing he cares as much about YAC as YPC.
10 Things I Know I Know
1. Ben McAdoo is going to get his team on the right track one way or another you can better beleve it. After watching Odell Beckham cry when he broke his sailing ankle I have to wonder if its allmost addition by subtraction here. If your going to cry from a injury it just means you weren’t tough enough to be healthy to begin with. I broke my foot and I didnt cry at all that much at all after the first couple days. McAdoo, however is basicaly in a game of survivor with his own team. If enough of them get injured then thats just fewer people around to stage a mutiny. Instead of wondering about the locker room, the papers are questoning wether or not Coach McAdoo has lost the training room, and a players only meeting consisting of Eli Manning and the Punter isnt exactley going to be running him out of town. Plus Ben took away all the music in the lockeroom, which is ironic since Beckhams literaly footloose.
2. Should women be aloud to know more about football than I do? To me it seems almost like an act of agression on their part. There are like 2 things in the world I can count on being better then a woman at, one is beating her in a track meet that I wasnt invited to and the other is knowing that people assume I know more about football then she does. Cam Newton brought up a good point last week when a reporter tried to flex on him and everyone castrated Cam and took away his yogurt for even asking the question. Its like a girl told me I sucked at sex one time &I was like you didnt even come how would you know.
3. Folk’s Nick O Leary is the first Bill to get away without wearing gloves since OJ Simpson, but his 5 catches fell short of the Bengals defense that truley committed the Burfict crime. Vontaze had like a million tackles, many of which were legal in Cininattis big home win and its time to ask- is it time for another Marvin Lewis contract extention? I say yes.
4. 19 years after he was drafted the Colt’s finally had the Peyton Manning statue unveiling cermony which is just a bit ironic because Ryan Leaf has been a bust for year’s folks. Indy fans gathered to boo Goodell for some reason which is alot like if the citizens of Normandy sent a letter to the United States demanding they pay for erosion. There has been no bigger friend to the city of Indianpolis then Goodell besides Peyton Manning who single handedly kept there economy afloat for 10 years thank to consistently good QB play and a injection of money to the local Head On headache treatment distributors. But if Indy is going to be booing Goodell then you can count me out.
5. Dak Prescott should of taken a knee at the one, no matter what Jerry Jones says. Daks me-first score-to-win mentalty was his ultimate downfall in this game. In the perfect display of coincidental timing Prescott thought he had acomplished his goal but in realty just left his defensive backs on a little island on Columbus Day.
In the NFL sometimes the best points are the ones you dont score, and everyone watching knew that he was giving his defense way to much time. Say what you want about Brandon Weeden but theres no chance he scores on that play and thereby leads the Cowboys to a big home win. Which is why you might see more platoon system’s of QBs especially verse Aaron Rodgers- one whose good and then one who sucks so you dont have to worry about kicking off to him. Playing against Aaron Rodgers is kind of like going verse the reverse Rick Pitino in that if he has more then 12 seconds hes going to score.
6. Thoughts and Prayers to JJ Watt after suffering a bad knee injury in last nite’s game. From Dr. Chao over at ProFootballDoc:
Incredible film breakdown as usual by Chao acurately pointing out that while some players were taking a knee, JJ was giving one up for his team. Kind of like humans becomeing so smart that we invented a way to destroy the planet. And Dale Earnhardt wouldn’t of died if he wasnt driving so fast but thats why we loved him.
But perhaps the ultmate gift that JJ could give is by passing along his next man up mentalty for his teamates. Watt demonstrated the type of acountabilty that made him such a leader by taking to twitter and personally apologizing to the rest of the world that he broke his leg, and giving his team permisson and his endorsement to move on without him. This is the NFL and as long as your next-man-up enough then injuries aren’t even a factor. The NFL could learn alot from forests, because after a fire the soil beneath the ashes actualy becomes more fertile for plants to grow in the wake of the blaze. Trees go next man up all the time so why not those big hog mollys down there on the line?
Also- you know who else broke there leg on a big stage after taking a shot at a chief? Thats right John Wilks Booth.
Lets talk about Bill O’Brien who has whispered Deshaun Watson into being a incredible athlete at the QB position. O’Briens savvyest move this offseason was gaining a little bit of wait, and growing a second chin that didnt have a butthole on it. Now only 50% of O’Briens chins are distracting to the viewer which muddies the water a little bit and imporve’s his image.
7. The Cleveland Browns may have found there QB of the future again in Kevin Hogan depsite being just about as indescript of a player as has ever worn a helmet of any sort. What people dont realize is that allthough the Browns passed on Watson, Trubsky, Carson Wentz, and Jared Goff, they’ve actualy gained tons of draft picks, which in theory could of been used to trade for even more draft picks, giving your team nearly unlimited upside for when you actually use them.
8. History is repeating itself this year with more and more teams running the read-option like in 2012. Its a fad that comes back time and time again only for it to be proven it dosen’t work once teams have a bad week or there starting quarterbacks Dad inserts himself into the offensive scheme demonstrating lot’s of nepotism &a real lack of understanding of how a locker room run by Mike and Kyle Shanahan is suppose to run. Fortunatley for the Panthers, Cam Newtons father hasnt shown a interest in where or how his son plays football now that hes not getting paid as much as he did at Auburn so that shoudnt be a problem.
9. Jon Fox is allready growing his playoff beard starting now. He told reporters’ that he lost his razor but might want to check Chris Foersters pockets. Fox is a football guy who celbrates when his wife goes out of town by giving up on basic hygiene, which makes his body healthier in the long run. Football guys would forget to poop if there wive’s werent around to brew coffee for them, an Fox is no different. Tonight is Trubiskys debut verse Minnesota as Jon Fox is all in for his job theres no turning back. And if there’s one guy who knows how to get a Viking funeral its a guy whose not afraid to burn his boat.
10. This seems problmatic for Rivers:
Whats Shakin In Sports Biz??? Falcons will keep their top on
Turns out the Mercedez Benz stadium in Atlanta is having a little troube with its sunroof. The $1.5 billion dollar structures roof has been a pain in the butt to retract so it will remain shut for the rest of the year. You have to admit its very on-brand for the Falcon’s to have a roof that also has real tough time closing folks. The biggest concern I have is that I have no idea how Arthur Blank will be able to find time to track down the necessary bulding supplies, manpower, and expertise to repair the roof while he’s busy being the founder of home depot, but I guess Lowe mans wins.