Paulina Gretzky And A Fan
What a month for your boy in terms of selfies. I met the one and only 50 Cent two weeks ago and today I met the one and only Paulina Gretzky. That’s a couple of big time dominos to fall for me. A picture with Paulina has been years in the making. And by years in the making I mean I blog and tweet about her when she takes hot selfies and she has no idea who I am. It’s a very unilateral relationship and it only exists on the internet. Until today that is.
Riggs and I headed to Liberty National today to check out some Presidents Cup action. We set up behind the 9th hole and were able to watch every group come through. The way it works is basically every wife or girlfriend follows directly behind each group. So we saw Ellie Day. We saw Victoria Slater. We saw Annie Verret. We saw Allison Stoke. We saw Jena Sims. We saw fucking everybody. Dustin Johnson and Brooks Koepka were the last group to come through.
Once DJ and Brooks finished the 9th hole they made their way to the 10th tee box. In order to do that they had to walk behind the 9th hole via a fenced off walkway. I made my way to the fenced off walkway. I gave Dustin a fist bump as he walked by. I’m a DJ fan but keep it moving pal. I’m here to see your better half. Then came Paulina. Smooooooooooooooke. She knew the people who were standing next to me so she stopped to talk to them. I asked her for a picture. She said yes and the rest is history. Did she know who I was? She absolutely did not and that’s probably for the best. “Hey are you the guy who has been screen-shotting my snap and Instagram stories for the past 36 months?” was not a question I was looking to field.
This picture also happened
Many people are asking which selfie meant more, 50 Cent or Paulina. It’s still 50 Cent and here’s why. I’m convinced my life has gotten 4000% better since I met Fiddy. It’s like when George Carlin said he prays to Joe Pesci. I don’t believe in a high power but I do believe Curtis Jackson changed my life for the better. I got to do the Barstool Tailgate Show in front of my people back in Iowa. I finally got to tell Dave that I hate him for leaving me behind when the whole company moved to New York. Casey’s General Store followed me on Twitter. And then today I met Paulina Gretzky. All I’m saying is things have been on the up and up since I approached 50 Cent’s two tone Rolls Royce.
PS- That picture is a master class in fat guy photography by the way. It’s all about the angles. I mean I look great in that picture. Better than I’ve maybe ever looked. The key is to hold the camera higher than the Goodyear blimp so the chins are hidden. Paulina looked great but I think I look better than she did. Things are really falling your way when you take a picture with Paulina Gretzky and you also happen to take your best picture ever.
Bottom line, dreams do come true