I Cannot Believe The Yankees Lost That Baseball Game

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I’m currently thinking about buying Owen Wilson’s book from Wedding Crashers “Don’t Jump.” No one, and I mean no one (except Kevin Clancy) deserves to lose a baseball game like that. I’ve never had my guts ripped out on the floor and stomped on like I did tonight. Folks, I’ve had some bad playoff losses in my lifetime (oh Hubbs you’re a Yankees Packers fan shut up). Nope, that was one of the worst playoff losses of my goddamn life time. KFC is reading this laughing and it makes me wanna grab a knife in the kitchen and just end it. I’m currently writing this blog on a Friday night at the office at 11:00. There’s no one here, all I hear is the bubbling water of Larry fucking 12’s or whatever number there on’s goldfish tank. I wanna burn Carrabis’s desk to the ground but he doesn’t have a desk so I physically can’t.

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The New York Yankees somehow lost this baseball game. They jumped on the cyborg known as Corey Kluber early. They stomped on his goddamn neck and let him bleed out until his robotic body ceased to exist. I couldn’t have imagined a better five inning start if I was able to script it out myself. Let’s start from the top so I can build myself up again before deciding mid-blog if I should jump from our 3rd floor.

Aaron Judge worked a walk in the first inning to get things started. Gary Sanchez was able to get the count in a favorable 3-1 favor, expecting and getting a fastball down the pipe. He pounced on it.

Off the bat no one thought it was gone, but it kept carrying and carrying and carrying until it was over the wall. Gary Sanchez had defeated the robot known as Corey Kluber. We had hope. John Connor had risen.

CC Sabathia found himself in immediate trouble in the bottom of the first and ended up surrendering the lead right away. It wasn’t necessarily his fault though, as Todd Frazier led off the inning with a horribly booted ground ball, allowing Lindor to reach. By the end of the inning, we were tied again. The second inning didn’t prove too favorably for Sabathia either as Frazier committed another throwing error, leading to another run. Sabathia battled in the inning and was able to escape with just one run to show for it.

In the 3rd the Yankees bats came to life once again. Starlin Castro delivered a big time RBI single to knot things at three apiece. Kluber’s pitcher count was soaring above 70 pitches as he clearly didn’t have his best stuff. After a Greg Bird single, Aaron Hicks stepped to the plate with two men on. He delivered…

The Yankees Watch Party we were at went fucking bananas. What was happening? Six runs off Corey Kluber? The sure fire AL CY Young was getting SHELLED by a lineup he seemingly owned for his whole career. I had never been in a true state of shock as I was when Hicks hit that no doubter to right. The game remained 6-3 for a few innings as CC really dialed in, as I expected him to. In the top of the 5th Greg Bird stepped up and put things out of reach for the time being.

We couldn’t tell off the bat if it was fair or foul, but in the end it was fucking launched outta here. The Yankees had an 8-3 lead in the 5th inning over the Cleveland Indians. We were bringing this baby back to the Bronx tied up. We had a goddman series. That was until things flipped on it’s goddamn fucking head. Joe Girardi decided to fuck with us for one last time.

In the 6th, ever so-fateful inning, CC Sabathia walked the lead off man, Carlos Santana. Jay Bruce stepped to the dish and lined out to Didi Gregorious. That, for WHATEVER REASON, caused Joe Girardi to make a move. Despite it being an 8-3 game in the 6th inning, with CC having retired 11 of his last 12 batters, Binder Joe decided to bring in Chad Green. Why? Why fuck with something so good with a big lead? He was at just 77 pitches, having given up just one earned run at the time of departure. Nope, Chad Green time. Normally when Chad Green steps in to pitch I feel great, but it just didn’t make any sense for CC to come out right then and there.

Green got Austin Jackson to fly out, but followed that up with a Yan Gomes double to left. Lonnie Chisnehall stepped in to pinch hit. This is when shit hit the fucking fan.

Lonnie Chisenhall struck out to end the inning. He did. He fucking struck out. He was out. When a pitched ball contacts the fucking knob of the bat on two strikes and the catcher hangs on, you’re out. IT’S THE FUCKING RULES. Joe Girardi, who seemingly likes to challenge every call ever in the history of baseball, opted to not challenge the most important play of this baseball game.

I mean, the ball hit the knob of the bat. He struck out. Inning over. Wanna hear Joe Girardi’s explanation for not challenging it?

YOU DIDN’T WANNA A MESS WITH THE PITCHER’S RHYTHM???? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? YOU DON’T WANNA BREAK THE RHYTHM? HOW ABOUT FRANKIE LINDOR’S RHYTHM? HOW DID THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU?

How’s an 8-3 game in the 6th become 8-7 in the blink of an eye. I felt a piece of me die when that ball left the bat. Absolutely demolished. I lost years off my life during that sixth inning.

David Robertson came in soon after and quieted things down. He pitched like the guy we traded Blake Rutherford and other prospects for mid-season. Robertson was great, but he was left in too long. After throwing 50+ pitches Tuesday night, Girardi left Robertson in a little too long. He should not have come out for the 8th inning. Call it hindsight being 20/20 whatever you want, Robertson shouldn’t have begun the 8th inning. Jay Bruce let him know that.

Obviously the Indians were tying that game there. It had to be former Met Jay Bruce. KFC’s miserable Mets got back nothing for this fucking guy. NOTHING. All he’s done is become a goddamn force for this Indians lineup. You gotta bring in Kahnle or Betances to pitch that 8th inning. You HAVE TO. Robertson threw 50 fucking pitches a couple nights ago, how are you leaving him in that late in that situation. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

How do you not challenge that tipped foul ball? I cannot fathom it. I cannot. Gary Sanchez was literally telling Joe to challenge it. TRUST YOUR CATCHER JOE. That’s a four run mistake Girardi, and it’s all on you. You have challenges to spend, challenge it you fuck head.

In the 11th inning I lost my goddamn mind. Todd Frazier led off with a ground ball to third base. Erik Gonzalez fielded it and overthrew the first baseman by a fucking MILE. Frazier was awarded second base and pinch run for by Ronny Torreyes.

That’s all we fucking needed. A little opening of a window. A man on second with nobody out for the top of the order. Driver’s seat, New York Yankees. Torreyes went on to make the worst move of the night.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING RONNY? Honestly what are you doing? You’re the go-ahead runner on second for the top of the order. You have speed, you don’t need to get to third to score from there and you’re taking a half base lead to third? Yan Gomes delivered a strike and a dagger to all Yankees fans’ hearts. What are you doing dude? The beloved Yankees “mascot” managed to completely ruin a great opportunity to win this baseball game. From then on..it was over. You’re just not winning that kind of baseball game with those fuck-ups.

In the bottom of the 13th, the Indians stole the Yankees’ soul.

One of the worst losses I can remember as a Yankees fan in my lifetime. Absolutely gut-wrenching. Ripped your heart out and threw it on the street to get run over by a cyclist. Having an 8-3 lead in the 6th after shelling the best pitcher in baseball only for your manager to fuck up a feasible challenge and a pinch runner to completely lose his awareness on the base paths. One of the worst losses in sports in my lifetime and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. Girardi might have to get fired for this. After managing such a great Wild Card game, he was just as bad tonight. I’m dead inside. See ya Sunday night? I guess? This is brutal. I’m going to McDonalds and getting five McChickens. I’m gonna sit there by myself and just eat them. My phone is dead. No one can talk to me. I’m just gonna sit down and think about Ronny Torreyes getting picked off second base with the top of the lineup due up and nobody out.

p.s. I just have to say thank you to the stoolies that came out tonight for the watch party. That atmosphere made it feel like we were at the game itself. Until the collapse it was fucking awesome. Live and die with you guys, thank you. Hopefully there’s a game 5 we can do this for. VIVA

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