Noah Syndergaard Getting Kinky With His Girlfriend At The Rangers Game

Noah you kinky little fuck! Nobody flaunts their smoke more than Noah. She’s Alexandra Cooper and shes a ROCKET SHIP. I’m not talking about one of Elon Musk’s little bitch ass rockets. I’m talking about a good old fashioned, old school take you to he goddam moon, 1969 rocket ship. When Matt Harvey went to Rangers games he was an unlikable idiot. He’d be there with a new Victorias Secret model, clearly one he chose trying to impress people. He’d go during the season, before or after a game that the Mets most likely lost in embarrassing fashion. He’d go when he was injured and feuding with management and overall just making it look like Matt Harvey cared more about the New York Rangers than the New York Mets.

Noah is out here (unfortunately) during the offseason, with a real life chick (meaning not some hoity toity rail thin model type) and he’s deepthroating his chick’s fingers. I am not gonna get mad at that. Not one bit. You wanna get kinky at the Rangers game? Have at it, hoss. I cant even imagine the weird shit he’s getting into behind closed doors if this is what they’re doing on camera at a hockey game, but let me just be the first to say “congrats on the kinky ass sex.” Its a testament to how much more likable Noah is than Harvey and how much more they believe in him. Its almost like fans will respect you if youre a genuine dude who puts the team first but also isnt afraid to live his life in the public eye a little bit. Of course if Noah doesnt perform, eventually fans will get bitchy and complain when they see him doing anything other than striking batters out. But for right now its like everyone is being an adult about the situation. Fans are understanding that Noah can, in fact, pitch and smash professionally. Noah probably understands that he needs to do both equally well. And we can all be one, big happy family. Some happier than others.*

*I mean Noah. He’s happier than we are. Again because he’s got a smoke sticking her fingers down his throat.

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